Today Lanie and Lindy are 6 weeks old! I am amazed that they have been in the NICU that long. I have been going to meetings with other mothers of babies in the NICU and have often giggled to myself when they are really impatient because their babies have been there for a week. When they ask me how long my twins have been in I can see the frantic looks on their faces. I can tell they are worried that their babies will have to stay as long as mine! There have been days when I have thought that they would never get out. I have also been really sad some days because babies are supposed to be with their mommies. (And mommies are supposed to be up all night with their new babies!)
With all of the crazy emotions that come along with having babies in the hospital, I have continually reminded myself what precious miracles Lanie and Lindy are. One day I was up at the hospital for about 3 hours just looking at them. Of course, they are starting to look more like full term newborn babies now-but really they should still be in my tummy growing and developing. I had a day of feeling sorry for them and myself because they didn't get all the time that they needed inside of me and I didn't get to have them to myself longer! I just kept thinking that mothers who get to carry their twins (or any baby) to term are so lucky. But then I realized that I AM the lucky one! I have gotten to see more miracles from God in these two baby girls than most people ever see in their lives.
It's been amazing to me how fast they grow and change. Having them in the NICU has forced me to slow down, sit still, and see each miracle as it happens. I have held each of them and studied their little eyelashes and fingernails. I've been able to watch their sweet smiles and really think about what it is they are smiling about! I got to see my baby girls when their palms were the size of quarters and their big toes were the size of tic tacs. I knew what they looked like before they had little booties and belly buttons. I have gotten to watch the way they move and how each day they have new facial expressions. It's been so awesome to see how small but very much developed they were even at just 30 weeks. It puts God's promise into perspective. He said that before we were born He KNEW us. He knew how many hairs were on Lanie's head before I even saw them. He knew the color of Lindy's eyes before she ever even opened them! He knew their little personalities-how Lanie is laid back like her Daddy and how Lindy is a "wildcat" (that's her nickname from the nurses-she screeches!). I knew when I was pregnant that somewhere in all of the difficulties that there would be a miracle. I didn't know what it would be or when it would happen. The first one happened on July 31st at 2:01 and the second was at 2:03. After that-God has spoiled me by letting each milestone and each day bring tons of miracles that I get to see. It's amazing knowing that while I am watching, He's having so much fun--it's almost like He's saying "Watch This!!". That's why I'm the lucky one!
4 comments:
Lori,
Your posting has brought tears to my eyes! You are such an amazing mom and so faithful! I love seeing and reading about the progress of Lanie and Lindy. I will continue to keep your family in my prayers-God is so good! what great news about Lanie coming home--hopefully it won't be long until Lindy can join her!!!
Rachel :)
They are lucky to have you too! You are the best Mom.
Love you-Michaela
Okay i'm crying! You are amazing! I love reading about your little miracles!
I am a mother of twins myself and only had to leave mine one extra day. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to leave them at night. You are very blessed to understand what miracles they are and to understand that life as you knew it has changed. Always stop and color when they ask, stop and play dress-up when they ask, stop to hold them and kiss them and hug them and squeeze them every time they ask and when they don't ask. Housework will wait. They don't!!! Because each minute is a gift and they grow up so fast. I know because mine are 33 now and how I long for the days when I could make things all better, when I could hold them in my arms and dry their tears. I long for the days when I knew where they were in the evenings and what they were doing and who they were doing it with. And when they had nightmares sneaking them into bed with you and cuddling with them to make it all right. And it was all right with the world in those moments. But life changes with each day and life proceeds as God has planned. Each child must grow, grow up and leave home some day and while you are so proud that they can fly, you still wave with tears in your eyes. God has blessed you and has shown you a new way to enjoy life.
You are a special MOM!
Joni Garrick
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